12 Days of Christmas
by seilleanmor
Summary: Rick Castle takes inspiration from the carol to buy his Christmas gift for Kate Beckett. COMPLETE
1. A Partridge in a Pear Tree

**This is just a little lighthearted fic to celebrate Christmas. I know it's a little out of character for Beckett to give in this easily, but in the spirit of Christmas, I'm hoping you'll forgive me. A link to the gift can be found here:**

**www (dot) handpickedcollection (dot) com (slash) partridge-jewellery-tree (dot) html**

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><p><em>For Maddie, the other – better – part of my soul. She is my sunshine and without her I'd be so lost. She is perfection and I'm just so grateful to have her in my life.<em>

**xxxxx**

He placed the box on her desk with as much nonchalance as he could muster. He desperately wanted to run away. This could either go extremely well and help to convince her of his feelings for her, or it could scare her off. He'd spent so long planning this and he was so desperate for it to all work out that he was worried he was going to throw up.

He leaned back in the chair and pulled his phone from his jacket pocket. His fingers were still slightly numb from the bite of the bitter New York winter that had assaulted him on his journey from the car to the precinct. He tried to play Angry Birds but he was shaking so badly from nerves that he couldn't manage it. He dropped his phone back into his pocket and proceeded to stare at her as inconspicuously as he could manage.

She looked beautiful. She looked beautiful all the time, but winter was good to her. Her hair was down to help keep her ears warm, curling onto her shoulders. She was snuggled into a deep red V-neck sweater and black dress slacks. Her nose was still slightly pink from the cold outside and he wanted so badly to press a kiss to it. But no, he couldn't do that. She wasn't his to kiss.

She finally, finally, glanced up from her paperwork and rested her gaze on the box he'd placed on her desk. It was white cardboard with a lid that lifted off, secured with a red ribbon tied in a bow. She didn't move, didn't even bother to change her expression from one of only mild interest.

"What is this?"

"A present for you." His voice was an octave higher than usual, and he stuttered on the word 'present'. Damn. He was supposed to be able to keep his cool; he was a celebrity for God's sake. He'd been interviewed before, and he'd always been fine. But somehow she was able to reduce him to a complete wreck without even seeming to try.

She raised her right eyebrow just slightly. "It's only the 13th. A little eager aren't we?"

He didn't speak, couldn't explain without ruining everything. She watched his face for a moment before sighing and turning back to the box. She pulled on one of the free ends of the bow and the whole ribbon cascaded down until it lay at the box's feet. She took the lid of the box in both hands and lifted it off cautiously, as if she were expecting something to jump out at her.

She placed the lid down gently next to the box and reached inside, plucking out the tiny card that rested on top of a mound of white tissue paper. The card was ivory in colour and thick with starch. He held his breath as she opened it, conjuring an image in his head of the words he had printed in his looping cursive onto the blank canvas.

_Dear Kate. A partridge in a pear tree for my favourite detective. Merry Christmas._

Her eyebrows lowered over her eyes, breathtaking creases forming between them. She carefully removed the tissue paper from the box.

He watched her, praying she'd allow her reaction to show, but she kept her face carefully impassive. She removed the gift from the box and placed it on her desk, then sat back in her chair and just looked at it.

It was a silver cylinder, very thin, that rose up from a slightly curved glass base. The cylinder had several branches, crafted from translucent glass, which twisted around. Each branch had two partridges on it, crafted from the same glass.

He cleared his throat and she finally looked at him. He was shocked to see tears in her eyes, but the smile playing at the corners of her mouth helped to calm him. "It's a partridge tree. For storing your jewellery. I know there are no pears on the tree but I figured it was close enough."

She blinked away her tears and smiled at him, that full smile that could lighten the very core of his being. "It's beautiful. Thank you." Her voice was hushed, almost awed.

He smiled back. "I'm so glad you like it." She grinned and nodded her agreement.

She reached out to touch it, stroking her forefinger down the gentle curve of the partridge's back. She seemed happy, and he'd finally stopped shaking.

Suddenly, her gaze snapped to his face, her eyes narrowed. "Wait. A partridge in a pear tree. As in the Christmas carol?" He nodded, suddenly struck dumb. "Does that mean what I think it means?"

He shrugged sheepishly. "You can't give me twelve gifts, Castle. And 'my true love gave to me?' Really?" He watched as her words seemed to catch up with her and she promptly snapped her mouth shut.

He sucked in a deep breath and leaned forward in his chair. He grabbed both her hands in his and squeezed them. She resisted at first, trying feebly to free herself from his grasp, but eventually she caved and allowed him to hold her. "Kate. I care about you. A lot. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to prove to you that my playboy reputation is exactly that. A reputation. It's not who I am. Not who I want to be. Who I want to be is the man I become around you. I'd really appreciate if you would let me do this for you. Please?"

She nodded again and he released her hands.

…..

She didn't have to clear a space for it on her dresser. It rested gently atop the bureau, as if it had always been there. Or the dresser had always been waiting for it.

She hung the necklace that held her mother's ring on one of the branches of her partridge tree, stuck again by its beautiful simplicity. She rested her father's watch on the curved stand of the tree and smiled to herself. She usually kept those two items hidden away in a wooden box, but it felt good to have them out in the open. Maybe it would force her to confront the past she still clung to so dearly.

She rubbed her thumb over the words on the little card he'd given her. She loved his handwriting. She loved the words, the beautiful stories he crafted with them, and to see words that his hands had crafted forged in ink made her weak at the knees. It still got to her. She wasn't exposed to his handwriting often. He was very rarely allowed to touch the murder board and Gates had made it very clear that he wasn't allowed to help with paperwork.

Of course, she saw his gently sloping script every time she opened one of the three books he had signed for her, but that wasn't quite the same. Those words were in his 'autograph' font, rushed and scrawled and almost illegible. She could tell that he'd taken his time with the words in this card. She imagined him hunched over at his desk, scowling in frustration when he made a mistake and she smiled to herself.

She was willing to bet he didn't even realise that the writing in this card was as much a gift as the present itself.

It took her a long time to get to sleep that night. Her stomach clenched with nervous excitement. She couldn't wait to see what he brought her tomorrow. She'd pretended to be annoyed at his extravagance, but she'd actually been beyond flattered.

It was easily the sweetest, most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her. She could see how it could make her fall in love with him. That is, if she wasn't already way beyond the point of no return. She loved him with everything she had, everything inside her craved him.

She'd already fallen for him, but she had a suspicion that these next eleven days were going to leave her powerless to her feelings. She was already starting to forget why she even bothered to fight them anymore.

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><p><strong>Please leave a review if you have the time and inclination. Merry Christmas!<strong>

**xoxo Bee**


	2. Two Turtle Doves

**Thank you for your kind response to this story. I really appreciate it. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I know this is fast but I wanted cute coupley Christmas things. It isn't all going to be plain sailing though, I assure you. Because when is real life ever like that?**

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><p><em>For Emja, without whom this story never would have gotten off the ground. Thank you for humouring me through my neurosis.<em>

**xxxxx**

He was there before her the next day, and so was the box. He had coffee waiting for her too and she took a grateful sip before she even greeted him.

When the liquid slid down her throat her eyes widened and she stared at him over the top of the cup. "What did you do to this?"

He chuckled at her. The childlike wonder on her face took his breath away. "It has a dash of peppermint extract. Christmassy, don't you think?"

She took another sip, her eyes shut as if it would help her savour the taste. "Delicious." She murmured, but he heard her. As always.

She placed her–now half empty- cup down on the desk and turned on her computer. Rick sighed and pulled his phone out. Clearly she was going to be awkward and make him wait until she opened her gift.

He wasn't surprised, but he was a little disappointed. This could be his favourite of all the gifts he had planned for her.

…..

She made him wait an hour. She wasn't even doing it to annoy him, not really. She just wanted to savour every second of the journey he was taking her on.

It was ten in the morning before she couldn't stand it any longer. He seemed engrossed in his phone, so she very quietly opened the box in the same way she had the day before. She slipped the card out of the box, glancing at his face again to make sure he wasn't paying attention to her.

She opened it and was unable to suppress a gasp as she read the words.

_Dear Kate, the dove has long stood for peace, harmony and commitment. I hope you know I'm committed to you. There's only one of the two turtle doves here. Apparently you're meant to keep one and share the other with someone you love, so I shared one with you and I kept one. Merry Christmas._

She pushed the tissue paper out of the way and lifted the ornament from the box. The dove was crafted from ivory ceramic. She cradled it in her palm, relishing the smoothness of the tiny ornament. It measured about two inches long, with a wingspan of three inches.

She glanced up again, to find him studying her face intently. "Wow. Castle, I…I don't know what to say. It's beautiful. The story behind it. The dove. Everything."

He smiled gently at her. "I'm glad you like it. You didn't think I was being too presumptuous?"

She returned her gaze to the dove in her palm; it was so much easier than looking at him. "No. I think it's sweet."

He looked so serious. So serious it terrified her. "I meant it. Give it to someone you love. Kate?" He waited for her to meet his eyes before he continued. "I'm in love with you Katherine Beckett. And I know you know that already. I know you remember. And it's alright. I understand why you couldn't tell me that you heard. I do. But you can't escape this time. And if you don't feel the same way then I understand."

He trailed off and she was jolted out of the frozen state of shock she had slipped into. "No, Rick. It's not that. It's not that I don't feel the same way. I just can't say it quite yet. I'm sorry."

He smiled. "Don't be sorry. I understand. It's a lot to take in. It's huge, what I feel for you. We have time though, Kate. Each of us knows where the other stands. I'm willing to wait."

She bowed her head. She was once again struck with the thought that she did not deserve this man. How could she? All she had ever done was tease him and run from her feelings. And he had continued to love her more wholly and deeply than anyone else had ever dared to.

"I won't make you wait long." She almost _heard_ his grin. It seemed to radiate joy. She looked into his eyes and almost had to look away again. It was intense. He was no longer hiding his feelings and now, looking at him, she was bathed in the glow of his love for her.

The phone rang, and she was forced to break their eye contact. She snatched it up and tried to contain her annoyance at the interruption. "Beckett. Yeah. What's the address?"

…..

She bent down to get a closer look at the body and the dove in her coat pocket dug into her hip. She'd hastily wrapped it in tissue paper and shoved it into her pocket before they left for the crime scene. She wasn't ready to be parted with it. Before she found a home for it as fitting as the sentiment itself she didn't want to let it out of her sight.

…..

It had been an easy close. Their killer had not been prepared to hide his identity in any way. He'd been full of bravado, not even trying to flee like so many suspects did. But it had taken Kate less than ten minutes to crack him in interrogation.

She signed her name on the last of the paperwork with a flourish and sat back in her chair. Castle was watching her. She was surprised he was even still here. But ever since her remarks about him not liking paperwork after he was held hostage, he'd made a conscious effort to stick around after all of the action was over.

She smiled at him. Not a full smile, she was too tired for that, but enough to let him know that she appreciated his presence. She pulled the dove from the desk draw she'd secreted it away in and cupped it in her palm.

"Where do you keep yours? I'm not sure how I should display it."

His eyes shone even in the harsh fluorescent lighting of the precinct. "I'll show you."

She didn't argue. She couldn't. He took her hand and pulled her from her chair. Her eyelids shut of their own accord, just for a second. It wasn't electric like so many clichéd descriptions. It was just lovely. The warmth of his hand around hers and the way he held her so tightly like he couldn't even imagine letting go.

He let her go until they were outside the precinct, and then he took her hand once more.

She was almost worried by the serene sense of calm that washed over her. The man had not only declared his love for her, but she'd come as close to returning the sentiment as she was able to. And that didn't scare her even a little. She trusted him. More than she had ever trusted anyone.

She was so lost in though it took her a while to notice that they were standing in his office. There, propped against a framed photo of his daughter, was his dove.

"Whenever I'm sitting here writing, I see it and I think of you."

…..

The next day, she doesn't miss the understanding that crosses his face when he catches sight of the dove she has so carefully rested against her computer monitor. So whenever she is doing desk work, she can see it and think of him.


	3. Three French Hens

**I hope you enjoy this one. I didn't want them all to be too heavy and symbolic, I feel like he'd be wary of overwhelming her. Also, reviews are like early Christmas presents, I really appreciate them. Thank you all.**

…

_For Alexis, who never fails to make me laugh. Who can cheer me up in less than a minute. The most talented gif maker on the whole of tumblr. I love you honey._

**xxxxx**

The box was there when she got there the next day. The only difference was that _he_wasn't. She swallowed back the lump that rose in her throat at his absence. Pathetic.

She moved over to her desk and sank into her chair. She picked up the paperwork from yesterday's case and began to go over it. She didn't want to open her gift without him.

She made herself coffee, struggling all the while not to sigh. She still couldn't use the fancy espresso machine so she made herself a cup of 'monkey pee in battery acid.' She'd coped just fine drinking that before him.

When she got back to her desk, her phone was glowing blue with a new message. She held her coffee in one hand and her phone in the other, but as soon as she saw that her message was from him she all but slammed her drink down onto the desk and gripped her phone in both hands. She mentally chastised herself. She really needed to get a grip.

_I'm sorry I can't make it in today, love. I have a meeting with Paula about 'Christmas publicity.' Go ahead and open your gift without me. I'll see you tomorrow._

It took her brain a while to process the rest of his message. She couldn't stop staring at the word 'love.' The easy familiarity with which he used it was astounding. Just yesterday he'd been hiding everything, and today he was texting her like they were married. They weren't even dating for God's sake.

She fought the voice in her head that asked petulantly 'why not?' and tore the lid off the box. He wasn't there, so she didn't have to disguise her excitement.

There was the card, just like always. She opened it and couldn't help but grin.

_Dear Kate. I did try to think of something a little more serious. But then I figured that I make your job a little more fun, right? So why can't that extend to Christmas. You know I'm not a serious man most of the time. Only really when it comes to you. Anyway, Merry Christmas._

When she'd told him that he made her job more fun she'd been terrified that he would use it against her. But this? This was nothing but sweet. She pulled the tissue paper away and let out a peal of laughter. Nestled inside the box were three rubber chickens. She picked up her phone and text him back.

_Thank you. They're just what I needed. Not very French though are they?_

His teasing reply came straight back.

_Glad you like them. No, they're not, but maybe you and I could share a croissant? Or a baguette. Ooh, snails!_

She laughed again, not even stopping to acknowledge that the eyes of several of her fellow detectives were trained on her.

_Maybe one day, Castle. Or you could just take me to France?_

_I'd take you anywhere. Hope you know that. I have to go, I'll text you later._

She sighed and put her phone back down. She looked back in the box and grinned. She really didn't need _three_ rubber chickens.

She plucked two of them from the box and swiftly launched one each at the heads of the boys. Ryan swivelled around in his chair to glare at her while Esposito gathered the poultry-turned-missiles from the floor.

"What was that for?"

Esposito popped up from the floor. "Yeah, what gives Beckett?"

She smiled at them and they both looked a little taken aback. They rarely saw her smile like that, especially when Castle wasn't around.

"Sorry boys. They were a present from Castle. Thought I'd spread the Christmas cheer."

They grinned and both secreted their chickens away in their desk draws. Kate smiled to herself. She had yet to come across a man that was not easily reduced to a child by the introduction of rubber poultry.

…..

"And that's it." Kate sat back in her chair and watched her therapist.

He never smiled. Ever. He never really seemed to react in any way. She guessed he'd been trained that way, but sometimes she wished he was a little friendlier.

"Okay. And what's the problem?"

Kate sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "It feels like too much. I feel like he expects me to be magically ready just because it's Christmas."

"From what you described, it sounds like the only person that's expecting you to be ready, Kate, is _you_."

She shut her eyes. Now that she thought about, he was right. It wasn't that Castle expected her to be ready, or even that she herself did. She just _wanted_to be, so badly that it pained her.

She wanted to kiss him. Hold his hand in the park and go out for dinner. Make love to him and wake up next to him in the morning, sleep making him even more beautiful. She wanted it all so badly but she was scared. Scared of how easily he could destroy her if she let him all the way inside her heart.

But really, would she be any less devastated now if something happened to him or to them than if they were together? She didn't think so.

She wasn't ready to be all in just yet. But this, what she had right now? This was perfect.


	4. Four Calling Birds

**I'm so glad you're enjoying this. Also, look out for a brand new collaboration between myself and Shannon (AllusiontoanIllusion). The first chapter will be posted tomorrow. Thank you for all your kind reviews.**

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><p><em>For Fly, for being there whenever I need to talk and for caring. I couldn't do it without you.<em>

**xxxxx**

"Oh. Okay. Of course. I understand."

He wasn't coming in. Again. At least he'd had the decency to call her this time. She was glad. She missed his voice.

She still struggled to admit it, even to herself. It was as if a war was raging inside of her, and her emotions were the casualties. She wanted him, absolutely. She wanted to have it all with him. But she wasn't ready yet. It was huge, knowing that every first they had would also be a last.

But just because her emotions were fluctuating wildly did not mean that she didn't want him around. Quite the contrary, in fact. Every time she looked in his eyes all her worries and neurosis melted away. So the fact that he was avoiding her hurt more than she was willing to admit.

She sucked in a deep breath. "Castle? Do you want to meet me for lunch today?"

There was a beat of silence that she filled with concentrating on keeping calm. Outwardly. She was pathetically nervous.

"Are you sure?"

She rolled her eyes, even though he couldn't see her. "Yes Castle, I'm sure."

"Okay then. Remy's?"

"Sure."

…..

Thankfully, they still hadn't caught a case by lunchtime, so she made it to Remy's before he did.

She slid into their usual booth and struggled free from the confines of her coat, laying it down on the seat next to her. She sat back and perused the menu, although she wasn't intending to order anything. Not until he got there.

They'd order the same thing they did every time, of course. But ordering without him just felt wrong in some inexplicable way.

When he arrived, he was trying to juggle her gift and an umbrella. The collar of his wool coat was turned up to help his scarf protect his neck, and damn, it was sexy.

His eyes found hers and he offered her a smile as he fought his way through the people, sending apologies behind him. He sank into the seat opposite her and stretched his legs out. His foot found her ankle and he immediately withdrew it, but against her better judgment she moved her leg until it found his foot. He raised an eyebrow at her but left his feet where they were.

She shrugged lightly. "It's snowing hard, huh?"

He let out a bark of laughter. "Yeah. It's freezing." His smile settled but it was still there, warm and endearing. "How are you?"

Her mind immediately snapped back to after the hostage situation when she found him alive and she asked him the same question. Relief washed over her and she had to take a second to catch her breath. Sometimes she forgets to be grateful, starts to take him for granted again.

"I'm okay." She shut her mouth and then opened it again. She promised herself last night, after she'd gotten home from her meeting with Dr Burke, that she would let herself be free and speak her mind. She'd as good as told him how she felt. There was nothing to stop her except fear, and she wasn't going to waste her life because of that.

"I miss you."

His eyes snapped to her face, wide and shocked but happy. _So __happy_. But apparently he'd gone mute around the same time that she'd lost all control of her mouth.

"Castle, I. It's pathetic… but work's just not the same without you around and I hate that I depend on you but I'm sick of hiding it. I need you. I do."

The booth was in a 'U' shape, so he slid around until he was on the same side as her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into him. "Shh. I'm sorry Kate. I'm so sorry."

She nestled her head against his shoulder, ignoring the voice inside her that screamed _too __fast, __too __fast_. "Why are you sorry?"

"I thought you wanted space. I didn't realise." Bless this man, and his willingness to take the blame for the blurred lines that were all her fault. He clearly had no idea where he stood.

"I just need time. Not space." Jesus, Kate. Okay. Don't bother hiding anything then.

She gestured to her gift in a half-hearted attempt to lighten the mood. "Do I get to open my present?"

He slid back around to the other side of the booth and she tried to ignore how cold his absence made her.

He nudged the box towards her and she smiled. "Four calling birds?"

He nodded. She pulled the ribbon off and then the lid. The card lay on the top. She picked it up and glanced at him before she opened it.

_Dear Kate. They don't call, but they're birds and I couldn't resist. Merry Christmas._

She raised an eyebrow at him, and pulled the tissue paper off the box. She let out a peal of laughter and he grinned.

Nestled inside the box were four of the _Angry __Birds_ plushies that had been released for Christmas last year.

"Where's the red one?"

He coughed awkwardly. "Oh. I. Um. I kept it for myself. I'm only meant to give you four. You can have it if you want."

She smiled reassuringly at him. "No, Castle. That's okay. I'm sure four will be plenty."

He picked one out of the box and tossed it in his palm. "Are you sure they're okay?"

She picked up another and copied him for a moment, before she launched it at his face. "They're perfect. I like that you're keeping it light-hearted."

His face paled slightly, but he forced a smile. "Yeah, well. It's Christmas. And you did tell me you want a little more fun."

She could tell just from his expression that the light-heartedness of today's gift would not be a recurring theme. Her heart caught in her throat. Five gold rings tomorrow. Surely he wouldn't be that stupid?

No. he wouldn't propose, she was almost sure. But she wasn't sure that she could handle whatever he did instead.

The waitress came to take their order before Kate could reply, and once she was gone, it didn't feel right to go back to the previous conversation. So they kept it light.

They parted once they were finished eating, but not before he caught her arm and pulled her in to him. "I promise you I'm coming in tomorrow." She nodded, but apparently he wasn't done. "I also promise that you'll never have to go a day without me again if you don't want to."

She fought the butterflies his words gave her and walked as calmly as she could away from him. She didn't fight the sunny smile that spread across her face, though.

…..

She lined her _Angry __Birds_ up on the windowsill in her study, right underneath the window that had, until recently, housed the pertinent information of her mother's case.

To remind her if she ever got sucked in again that he would cheer her up no matter what.


	5. Five Gold Rings

**This one isn't as light as the previous chapters, but don't worry, stick with it. Thank you for all your kind reviews. I'm so glad you're all enjoying it. Also, I know the word 'always' has gotten a little cliché here in fanfic land, but I don't think it has for them yet. You'll understand shortly.**

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><p><em>For Oshi, who helps me to realise that perhaps I am not as worthless as I feel, and who faithfully likes every single tumblr post I ever produce.<em>

**xxxxx**

This was too much. So she did what she always did. She ran. Hand pressed to her mouth in an attempt to hold back the sobs that threatened her, she ignored the elevator in favour of the stairs. Faster, and it felt more like she was getting somewhere.

This was probably why he'd looked so nervous as he'd handed her gift over. He'd known that there was a high chance she'd react like this.

It was all too much. Five days ago she'd been vehemently against any sort of admittance regarding her feelings. And now he'd given her a ring.

He'd tried to provide a buffer to her reaction with the card.

_Dear Kate. There's only one and it isn't gold, but I feel like platinum is so much classier. Merry Christmas._

As soon as she'd laid eyes on the beautiful platinum ring nestled in the box he'd declared that it wasn't an engagement ring.

That didn't matter, though. It was still more than she was ready to deal with.

She barely made it down two stairwells before her legs gave out and she sank to the ground. She leaned her head against the wall and shut her eyes. She focused on breathing, on refusing to let the tears fall.

She heard footsteps behind her and knew it could only be him.

He sank down on the stair next to her, but didn't touch her.

His voice was quiet, his whispers losing themselves in the echoing space. "Kate, I'm not asking you to wear it. Not if you don't want to. It doesn't mean anything more than a promise that I'm sticking around."

She bowed her head. She'd promised herself, and to some extent him, that she'd let him in, but this? A promise ring? And the inscription.

"Why did you have it inscribed in Russian?"

He looked relieved, and she realised too late that her question made it seem like she was accepting the gift.

"It means that no one except you and I need to know what it says. It can be shared just between us."

She nodded. She wanted to wear it but she didn't know how. When he'd given it to her, she'd immediately wanted to put it on the fourth finger of her left hand. She'd managed to stop herself just in time, forcing herself to remember that they're not even dating. And ignoring the persistent little voice in her head that wanted to know why not.

Putting it on any other finger felt wrong, and she didn't want to add it to the necklace that bore her mother's ring.

His hands were deep in his pockets and she knew it was to stop himself from touching her.

She wasn't sure why, but that simple gesture of respect was the thing that broke her. This man wanted the best for her. She was terrified of dragging him into the rabbit hole with her, but he was strong. Stronger than he let on. He'd get them both out safely, she trusted him to do that.

So she did what she should have done months ago. She reached out first.

Her hand connected with his upper arm, and she felt every muscle in his body freeze under her touch.

"Castle, I'm sorry. I was just a little overwhelmed. The ring…the ring is beautiful. I'm not ready to wear it yet, but I will someday."

He seemed to relax a little at her explanation. "Kate, I never meant to upset you. I'm just trying to prove myself. I'd give you the moon." He paused for a moment. "Hey, I could do that. I could add your name to my deed."

She smacked his arm. "No. I don't want my name on your property on the moon. But Castle? You don't have to prove yourself to me. You already did that, a long time ago."

He looked a little taken aback. "I did?"

She nodded at him. "You've saved my life ten times now."

He grinned. "You're counting the tiger?"

"Yeah. If you hadn't turned the crate on its side we would have been eaten for sure."

He laughed and the tension broke. He stood up and took her hand to pull her up too. Once she was standing, he tried to take his hand back but she held his tightly. He grinned and acquiesced with her reluctance to let go.

They turned around and walked back up the stairs in companionable silence. She pulled the ring from her pocket and rubbed over the inscription with her thumb.

It really was a beautiful ring. She didn't even want to think about how much it had cost him.

She slipped it back into her pocket. Throughout the rest of the day, she almost subconsciously slipped her fingers into the pocket to check that the ring was still secure. He noticed every time, and every time a smile broke out over his face that he didn't seem to be able to control.

…..

That night, as she studied the inscription once again, she said it aloud to her empty apartment. First in Russian, and then in English.

"Always."

She slipped it onto her partridge jewellery tree. Some day, she'd surprise him by showing up to work wearing it. Just not quite yet.


	6. Six Geese A Laying

**Sorry this one's posted so late in the day, I've been really busy. If you guys are interested, I also just started posting a new story. It's a collaboration with AllusionToAnIllusion and it can be found on her profile. Thank you for your kind reviews.**

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><p><em>For Sophie. My darling Soph, where would I be without you and our conversations? Thank you for being there to talk to ma cherie.<em>

**xxxxx**

There's been a disturbing lack of murders over the past few days. Kate tried her best to ignore the anxious nausea rolling in her stomach. She couldn't help but feel that something huge was about to happen. Castle thought that the universe was smiling on them for the Christmas season, but Kate refused to believe that. She'd never felt that the universe was smiling on her. Why would it start now?

She sighed and tapped her fingers against her desk in a staccato rhythm. Castle glanced up from his phone and smiled at her, before returning his gaze to the device.

Five minutes later he switched it off and shoved it into his pocket, turning to face her.

"Kate? You don't really have to be here do you?"

She pretended to think for a moment. She wasn't about to show him how eager she was to escape.

"No, not really. Why?"

He smiled and stood up. "Today's gift isn't something you can open."

She raised an eyebrow, but allowed him to take her hand and pull her from the chair. He helped her into her coat and led her with a hand at the small of her back to the elevator.

They stood in silence inside the elevator. Castle seemed nervous, and Kate knew it was easier just to let him ruminate in his thoughts, rather than try to get him to explain what was wrong.

He took her by the hand and led her out of the precinct and through the streets of New York. They wound through side streets, stepping over puddles of melting snow that adorned the pavements.

The sun was beginning to set, setting a dusky orange glow over their surroundings.

"Castle, where are we going?"

He squeezed her hand and nudged at her hip with his own. "You'll see. Ah, here we are."

They stopped outside a tiny store, nestled in between several others. It looked quite decrepit and Kate was sure she wouldn't have noticed it without Castle.

She looked up to the name that hung lopsidedly above the door.

_Snow Goose Gifts._

He followed her gaze and chuckled.

"So I toyed for a while with getting you real geese but that seemed a tad unnecessary. And then I was walking in the city one evening trying to uh, clear my head. And I found this place. Go in, take a look around. You can have six things of your choice on me."

It took her a moment to formulate a response. "I…Castle. You can't just buy me six presents. I don't."

He let go of her hand and placed his at the small of her back, nudging her forwards. "I can. You deserve so much more than this. Just please, come on."

The store was lit only by fairy lights that were strung across the ceiling, setting a soft golden glow over the room. It was tiny and cramped, every available surface laden with things for sale. Books, jewellery, ornament, candles, objects that Kate could not even begin to imagine a use for. It was all there.

Castle stood away from her, watching as she walked in a slow circle, trying to take everything in. The lights sparkled in her eyes, wide with wonder. She looked like a small child caught up in a dream come true, and damn if it didn't make him love her even more.

She moved over to a stand that held hundreds of bracelets and he followed her. He tried not to crowd her but his body was drawn into hers. He wrapped his right arm around her front, spreading his palm across her stomach and resting his chin on her shoulder.

She reached out and traced the design of an intricate silver bracelet. It looked like it was several braids woven together to form a delicate rope. Her fingers lingered on it and he whispered into her ear. "Do you like it?"

She nodded the affirmative. "You can get it then."

She paused for a moment, and he imagined the war she was waging with herself. But then her shoulders softened a little and she handed it to him to hold while she browsed.

She moved away from the bracelets and he had to move away from _her_, much to his chagrin. He took her hand and squeezed it tight. He couldn't remember the last time she'd allowed him to touch her this much, and he intended to make the most of it.

She picked out two Yankee Candles in holiday scents – cookie and cinnamon – something he never would have expected of her, but somehow made perfect sense.

Her eyes scanned the store before moving over to the enormous bookcase, and he knew that her other three items would be books.

Her finger traced over the spine of a book. He read the name and his breath caught in his throat.

_Motherless__Daughters_.

"Kate." She stopped him, and he was glad. He had no idea what he was going to say after the hurdle of her name.

"It's okay Castle. I uh. I actually have this one already." He pulled her into his embrace, palming the back of her head with one hand and wrapping the other around her waist. She buried her head in his shoulder and he managed to choke back a sob of anguish.

"I'm so sorry, love. So sorry."

She sniffed and pulled away. He let her go, knowing that she'd break if he kept holding her. "It's okay. Not your fault. I cope."

He nodded in a silent agreement to change the subject. She turned around to peruse the books again, and he stepped away. none of the items in the store had prices on them. He made his way over to the kindly old woman that sat behind the counter.

"Ma'am, I have a strange request for you. When you ring these up, could you please not tell her the price? Just ask for my card."

The woman laughed, the lines around her eyes becoming impossibly deeper. "Of course, dear. She's clearly very special to you."

Rick turned around to find Kate, smiling softly before turning back to the woman. "You have no idea."

The woman smiled again. "I wish you two happiness and love."

Rick smiled at her in thanks before stilling at Kate's presence at his back. She still had the power to take his breath away.

She placed three books on the counter, and he placed the two candles and the bracelet next to them. She'd chosen three crime novels. They all looked second hand, too tattered for him to even read the names on the covers. He could only tell they were crime novels because of the colouring and the images on the covers.

The woman rung up the purchases, and true to her word, did not announce the price. Castle handed his card over and waited the required amount of time before entering his PIN code.

Both Rick and Kate expressed their thanks to the old woman before leaving the store. Rick insisted on carrying the bag containing the purchases for the walk back to the precinct.

They spent the next hour there before Kate decided they could go home. Outside the precinct before they went their separate ways, Kate grabbed his elbow and spun him around to face her.

"Thank you. Not just for the gifts, but for taking me to the store. For caring."

He grinned at her. "It was my pleasure. Thank you for going along with it."

She nodded and he leaned in to kiss her cheek. He was gracious enough to ignore the pinkness that flamed up as he pulled away. He turned and walked into the night, feeling like surely he would burst.

Surely a day that perfect was not actually possible.


	7. Seven Swans A Swimming

**So sorry this is up so late in the day. I actually wrote this while I waited for my brother's carol concert to start. My mother is laid up with tonsillitis so I had to make dinner and sort everyone else out as well as take care of her. But enough whining. Thank you for all your supportive and kind reviews. I really appreciate it.**

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><p><em>For Shannon, who is as hilariously witty as she is beautiful. So talented, and I am so lucky to call her my friend. I love you chica.<em>

**xxxxx**

He didn't have a box for her today. Instead he handed her an envelope. Her name was carefully printed on the front in his distinctive cursive and her stomach fluttered. She loved the way her name looked in his writing.

She slipped a fingernail underneath the seal of the envelope and opened it slowly. She pulled out a plain white card. His message was on the front.

_Dear Kate. I hope you like this one. Merry Christmas._

Well, that was elusive. She opened the card to find two tickets. She pulled them free from the tab and read them more closely.

Swan Lake. She choked back a laugh. She'd never been to see it, but she'd always wanted to. She couldn't think of anything to say, but thankfully he filled the silence.

"I'm not saying you have to go with _me_. It just struck me as something I can totally see you enjoying. And it fit with the theme. Sort of."

She laughed. He was right; she had always loved the ballet. "Why?"

He coughed awkwardly and she watched as he arranged his thoughts. "Well, uh. You're smart. Well educated. Classy. And I know you love Russian culture and the score was originally composed by Tchaikovsky."

He stumbled slightly over the name and she chuckled. "Tchaikovsky," she corrected. She smirked as his eyes widened. She wasn't blind to how sexy he found her Russian accent.

"So, it's tonight. I hope your dad or whoever is free. Damn, I should have checked."

"No!" She spat the word out, and they both paused momentarily in shock. "I mean, uh. You got the tickets. You should come."

"Don't invite me just because of that."

"I'm not. There's no one else I'd rather go with."

She flushed as a beaming smile spread over his face. "Then I'd be honoured."

Xxxxx

She looked stunning. It was a smart-casual dress code and she wore dark skinny jeans with a sheer cream blouse. It had black piping and she wore a black vest top underneath.

She had just enough buttons undone to expose the creamy skin at the hollow of her throat and he longed to press his lips to the heavenly junction.

His shirt was royal blue with a navy tie. He felt smart, but he was nothing compared to her.

Their seats were very near the front, right in front of the stage. The floor sloped so they had no difficulty seeing the stage.

The lights dimmed and Castle grabbed Kate's hand in his excitement. She allowed him to settle their clasped hands in her lap.

The show was intense and beautiful and utterly breathtaking. Rick kept sneaking glances at Kate. The lights reflected back on her face and she looked simply stunning.

At the interval, he leaned over to whisper in her ear.

"Do you want a drink, love?"

She didn't respond to his endearment and he swallowed a sigh of relief. He couldn't believe she hadn't called him out on that yet. She nodded her affirmation and he stood.

"Castle? Just water please."

He was a little taken aback but he nodded.

He got her a bottled ice water and a sprite for himself. The queue was so enormous that he barely made it back in time for the second half to start.

"Why aren't you drinking tonight?" He asked as he handed her the water.

"I want to stay clear-headed. This is magical and I don't want to forget a second of it."

When he'd booked the tickets, he never could have imagined she'd love it this much.

"God, I love you." The words were out before he could stop them but she didn't seem to mind. She flushed a little, though, and looked back to the stage.

The lights dimmed again and he pushed thoughts of their relationship from his mind, content to focus on the wonderful show in front of him.

The time seemed to fly by and before he knew it the lights came up. He nudged Kate. "You want to go back?"

It was theatre terminilogy, he realised at her blank look. "You know, backstage? Go and meet the stars?"

Her eyes shone. "Can we?"

He laughed and stood, pulling her to her feet. "Yeah, we can."

He led her through the back passages of the theatre until they got to a door. A solidly built man stood in front of it holding a clipboard. Rick mustered his most charming smile.

"Richard Castle."

The man nodded and opened the door for them. Rick ushered Kate through with an arm at her back.

He led her down another hallway and knocked on a door. It opened and Rick stepped in. he enveloped the tiny woman in the room in his arms. "Saskia, lovely to see you darling. The show was fabulous. As always. This is my partner, Kate Beckett."

The petite blond turned to Kate and smiled, holding out her arms for the taller woman. Kate allowed Saskia to hug her, but her shoulders were stiff.

"So you're the lovely woman who has tamed Richard?"

Kate laughed awkwardly and Rick squeezed her hand. "Yeah, this is her. Kate, Saskia did a show with my mother, what? Fifteen years ago now. We've been friends ever since."

Kate seemed to relax a little. There was no mention of Saskia being one of his past conquests. She tried to ignore how relieved that made her.

They made pleasant small talk for a while, before Rick declared that they best be going. They hailed a cab back to her apartment and she allowed him to walk her up.

Outside her door, he held her for a while. "Thank you for letting me come with you tonight. I had an amazing time."

She smiled. "Thank you for coming. I really had a magical time. All thanks to you."

He kissed her cheek again and walked away. As much as he longed to kiss her properly, he could wait. Until she was ready.

Every day he was more and more convinced that that time would come soon.


	8. Eight Maids A Milking

**I'm so sorry this one is late. I had a case of the flu and so everything got a bit delayed. I'm back on schedule now, though. Thank you for your kind reviews, they mean a lot to me.**

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><p><em>For Elle, who is the best role model I could ask for, and who always handles herself with a grace and maturity I could only hope to emulate, but who still manages to capture an incredible childish innocence.<em>

**xxxxx**

He brought her a hamper. An enormous basket of a thing that he carried out of the elevator and across the precinct to place it on her desk.

Usually, she could control her reactions to his gifts. Usually, she managed not to look up until it suited her. But she saw the monstrous basket from her peripheral vision and her gaze snapped to it without conscious thought.

He raised an eyebrow at her and she deftly plucked the note card from the top of the thing.

_Dear Kate. I didn't get you eight maids, because I know you're an independent, self-sufficient modern woman. So I focused on the milk instead._

She dropped the card onto the desk and sat back in her chair slightly, taking in the sight of the enormous hamper laden with gifts.

She could feel Esposito and Ryan's eyes on her, but she ignored them. Ignored him too.

She reached into the basket and plucked out the first item. An enormous bar of milk chocolate. She smiled and placed it on her desk next to the note card.

Next was a bag of chewy milk bottle sweets. She didn't know how he knew, but they were some of her favourites. The extent of his knowledge of her had long ago ceased to surprise her.

She pulled out a milk and honey body butter from _Burt__'__s__Bees_, a company she adored but found a little too pricey for regular indulgence. She'd tried a sample size of this particular product once, and had loved it. And now she had a full size bottle.

There were two envelopes in the hamper, she pulled them free. She opened the first one. It contained two vouchers for a spa treatment. A specific spa treatment. A milk facial at one of the most affluent spas in the city.

Lanie would love it. And so would she.

The second envelope's contents were slightly less official. A piece of paper declared that Kate was entitled to four milkshakes of her choice, to be received over the next year. Courtesy of Mr. Richard Edgar Castle.

Kate couldn't help herself; she laughed aloud at that one and then spoke for the first time since he'd arrived.

"Milkshake, Castle? It's December."

He smiled warmly. "I know. it does say the token is valid until this time next year, you can wait until the summer if you want."

She smirked at him. "No. I think I may have to redeem it for the first time today. Fancy joining me after work?"

He nodded like an eager puppy and she ignored the surge of affection she felt for him.

xxxxx

It was a slow day. They got called to a body in the morning, but it was an open and shut case. A young man had broken into their perp's apartment, expecting it to be empty. Instead he found him in it. The owner of the apartment had grabbed the nearest weapon, a kitchen knife, and brandished it. Their victim had tried to take on the apartment's owner in hand to hand combat, losing his life in the process.

The apartment owner had called the police himself, and was firmly sticking to a self-defence argument. It didn't really matter to Kate anymore. He'd confessed and it was therefore no longer her problem.

She signed her name on the last of the paperwork and stretched her shoulders, the muscles aching.

She poked Castle, who was slumped over with his arms on the desk and his head resting on them. "Hey Castle? Fancy that milkshake now?"

He snapped awake and almost jumped from the chair. "Sure. I'd love to." He helped her into her coat and then slipped into his own. They walked side by side until the elevator, when he grabbed her hand tightly in his and slipped their joined hands into his pocket.

She didn't protest. She didn't see the point when she so enjoyed the warmth that the contact shot through her bloodstream.

He led her along the pavement. The voucher had not specified where her milkshakes had to be from, and she assumed he had a destination in mind.

Their conversation was easy and light. It had been that way ever since the ring three days ago. He'd seemed to realise that she needed him to tone it down just a little. Everything was perfect. Even the weight of so much more to come that hung over them was comforting rather than distressing.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd been so happy.

He led her into a little milkshake parlour. Everything inside gleamed sparkling white, and was just cold enough to not necessitate the removal of their outdoor garments, without being uncomfortable.

He gestured to a board that held all the available flavours, more than she ever could have imagined. "Take your pick."

The pair of them perused the board for a while before making their selections. Kate chose double chocolate, not willing to be more adventurous than that during her first time here.

Castle chose peanut butter cup, and gave both their orders to the young man behind the counter.

Kate watched in fascination as the man made their milkshakes in front of them. He tipped chunks of milk and dark chocolate, ice cream and milk into the blender and mixed it all together until it was smooth and creamy. He poured it into a cup for her and fixed on a lid, plucking a straw from the container and pushing it through the hole in the lid.

He handed it to her across the counter and she took it gratefully. She took a sip and shut her eyes as pleasure washed through her.

She opened her eyes again to find Castle watching her intently. "God, Castle, how did you find this place and why are you only just now taking me here?"

He smirked. "I wanted to wait until the right time."

She raised an eyebrow. "It's just milkshake."

He accepted his drink from the server and led her over to a booth. She slid easily over the red vinyl covering on the seat, and settled back into it. He sank onto the seat opposite her. "For me, it's not just milkshake. I've been coming here since I was about fifteen. It's changed a lot since then, but it's always been my special place. I took Alexis here once, but she's not a huge fan of milkshake."

The enormity of his gesture takes a moment to sink in. "Castle. You didn't have to share this with me."

He took her hand across the table. "I wanted to. I want to share it all with you, Kate. When I get home I want to tell you everything that's happened since I last saw you, even if nothing really has. It's ridiculous but I can't help it. You just make everything better."

She felt her cheeks flush. How was her Christmas gift to him going to stand a chance in comparison to all he'd done for her?

"I'm glad. I want to share with you too, Rick. I'm trying."

He squeezed her hand. "That wasn't a dig at you, Kate. You already share more of yourself than I deserve. Thank you."

She couldn't think of anything to say in response, so they sat quietly sipping their drinks for a while before he resumed their easy small talk.

Once they were done, he hailed a cab for her and told the driver her address. The milkshake parlour was too near his loft to warrant him joining her, so he bid her farewell with a kiss to her cheek and a promise of tomorrow.

Tomorrow, he intended to kiss her properly, and in such a way that she couldn't pass it off as a distraction for a guard.


	9. Nine Ladies Dancing

**I like this one. I hope you do too. Thank you for all your lovely reviews.**

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><p><em>For Nik, who is always willing to fight for me. Thank you for having my back, you don't know how much I appreciate it.<em>

**xxxxx**

He can almost taste her; she's so close to him. So close that it makes all the tiny hairs along his arms stand on end. So close that he could reach out and kiss her if he wanted. And of course he wants to. He always has, right from the beginning.

Today's gift was predictable and lame. His daughter declared it so when he asked for her input. But he couldn't resist. He was absolutely powerless to fight the need that burnt low in his stomach when he thought of Kate.

He'd told her he'd wait. And he was. He'd never been a patient man. He wanted it all, right now. He'd marry her tomorrow if she'd let him.

No, he wasn't patient. But he wasn't selfish either. At least, not any more. And so he was being selfless and he was letting her control the pace. Letting her lead.

It had taken a suspiciously small amount of provocation to get her onto the dance floor. They'd been seated at the bar sipping their drinks and laughing quietly, hers throaty and sexy, his strung out and laced with anxiety.

The song had changed and he'd taken the opportunity to put his drink down and ask her "dance with me?"

She'd acquiesced easily, standing up and offering him her hand. He'd taken it without hesitation and used it to lead her onto the floor.

He'd carved a space for their bodies, his apologies losing themselves in the music. The song was fast, the beat pounding through him. He couldn't hear anything except the music. He saw Kate's mouth move, but he wasn't sure if her words were directed at him or not.

And then she wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and it ceased to matter. She ground the full length of her body against him and he stood frozen and unresponsive for a moment, before remembering that the woman he loved was dancing in his arms and she _wasn__'__t__even__drunk__yet._

He moves with the music, with her, letting her twist and turn in the confines of his arms but keeping her close to him.

There will be no slow dancing tonight, it isn't that kind of bar. No opportunity to wrap her in his arms and breathe her in, tell her how much he loves her.

But that doesn't matter anymore. Her dress is black lace and silk and he doesn't know what else and it doesn't matter, what matters is that it clings to her curves and it shows so much skin he had to clench his fists to stop from touching her when she opened the door to him.

He nudges her hair out of the way with his nose, his hands still on her hips. Finds her ear with his lips and whispers on a throaty sigh. "Dear God, woman. You're killing me."

She laughs, throwing her head back and exposing the column of her throat and he wants nothing more than to press his lips to it. She doesn't have to stand on her tiptoes to meet his ear; her ridiculous heels have them at the same height.

"There's way more than nine ladies dancing in here Castle."

He smirks. "True, but I only have eyes for one."

Her eyes widen and a delicate blush coats her cheeks and if he wasn't so terrified of getting his hopes up he'd say she was aroused.

She doesn't respond, content to move against him. It's like a slow and delicious torture, one that he hopes won't end.

xxxxx

But of course it does. She waits until the end of the song and then fights her way through the crowd of people back to the bar. He's so lost in her that he follows blindly, this time not caring when he bumps into people.

They've lost their seats. She toys with the idea of ordering another drink, but she wants to stay sober and clearheaded.

She hasn't had a drink since the sniper case, and she doesn't trust herself to fall into the trap of it. But he's here, so she allowed herself one. Just one.

Alcoholism runs in the family, but her father didn't have Richard Castle to keep him from slipping.

She can feel his presence at her back and she leans into it almost subconsciously. She turns around, her lips just inches from his as she speaks. "Castle, fancy getting out of here?"

He nods his affirmation and she watches him fight his way through the crowds to get their coats. He helps hers on, again. She can't remember the last time she put her coat on herself. Or the last time she cared.

She takes his hand and they fight their way out of the door. The cool night air envelopes them and her skin prickles but it's a good feeling. It's like she can finally breathe again. There wasn't enough air in the club and there's almost too much out here.

He takes her to a park. Not Central Park, but some tiny little patch of greenery that's quite hidden away. It has old Victorian style streetlamps and neighbouring residents have strung fairy lights between them. He leads them over to the middle of the grass and hums in her ear, rocking her gently.

She nestles her head against his chest and breathes deep, inhaling his cologne and the fresh night and the excitement in the air because Christmas is so close you can taste it. his voice rouses her from her thoughts.

"Kate? I'm waiting. I am. But this dress. And you. God damn it Kate, it's hard. Please?"

She knows what he wants. She wants so badly to give it to him. "I'm not ready to sleep with you, Castle."

He nods. "To be quite honest, I don't think I'm ready for that yet either. But I need to kiss you, Kate. Please?"

She echoes his nod. And then his mouth is on hers and her eyes slide shut of their own accord.

xxxxx

There are no fireworks, no explosions behind his eyelids. There's just her. The rest of the planet falls away, and suddenly Kate Beckett is everything. She tastes like winter and coffee. The cherry scent of her hair assaults him gently, and he breathes in deeply, trying to refresh his memory of the aroma. The feel of her lips on his sends tingles shooting from his mouth right down to the tips of his toes.

He reaches one arm around her shoulders, until his hand rests on the plane between her shoulder blades. He tugs her a little closer to him. Just when he lets himself relax into the kiss and revel in the taste of her, she pulls away.

She looks at him, her eyes soft. Her lips are full and parted slightly and Jesus, how did he ever think he could stop at a kiss? She lets her eyes wander over his face, and he feels more naked than he ever had before.

She leans back in, and her lips meet his once again. This time there _is_ a sort of explosion. He feels that surely every vein in his body will burst. He can't contain himself. He's wanted this, wanted her, for so long. She tastes better than he remembers from that night almost a year ago. Her flavour is utterly indescribable.

Her hand moves around to his shoulder, pulling him closer to her. He gladly obliges. She lets out a moan that sends all the blood in his body rushing to his groin. He wonders if she knows what she does to him. His knees are weak. Kate drowns out every rational thought he's ever had, simply with the feel of her lips on his.

He moves his hand to her hair, running his fingertips through the soft curls. One of her hands is around the back of his neck; with the other she runs her fingertips through his hair. Everywhere his skin meets hers; explosive trails of burning desire erupt and recklessly searched his body for a place to make more contact.

He breaks away this time, knowing that if he doesn't stop now he never will. "Wow." He breathes and she smiles nervously. "You're incredible."

She leans into his arms, resting her head against his shoulder again. "Yeah, well, you're not so bad yourself."

He walks her home, not wanting to leave her just yet. He even goes so far as to walk her up to her apartment. He presses a gently butterfly of a kiss to her lips before she shuts the door, and bids her farewell.

She shuts the door, and he has no idea that she leans against it, trying and failing to hold back her grin.

He can't help himself, he fist pumps inside the elevator before he manages to get control of himself.

He knows she can't avoid talking about this kiss, pass it off as something meaningless. They both know it wasn't.


	10. Ten Lords A Leaping

**Sorry this is late; I was out of town with no internet access. Please don't hurt me. I'm so glad you all seemed to enjoy chapter 9, because I certainly did. Thank you.**

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><p><em>For Esther. Quietly brilliant, talented, smart and one of the sweetest people I know.<em>

**xxxxx**

She appears at his door, face slightly flushed with nerves and it's too early to question her presence so he accepts her into his loft without a word.

She moves over to the kitchen counter, sits at one of his bar stools, watches him walk over to her. Studies his gait like he's prey and she's the most sensual of predators.

He was going to wait, give her today's gift at the precinct. Perhaps this is better. But first-

"Kate? I'm not letting you get away with ignoring what happened yesterday." He's standing in front of her, his thighs pressed to her knees.

She wraps her arms around his waist, rests her head against his sternum. "Who said I'm ignoring anything? I came over to thank you."

His tongue is momentarily glued to the roof of his mouth. He swallows hard, his throat so dry. "Thank me?"

She nods timidly. "Last night was perfect, Rick. Because of you. You've eased me into this, into us. And I think I'm ready."

His knees give out and he drops down to sit on the floor in front of her, clings to her hands. "You are?"

She squeezes his hands, doesn't deign to comment on the fact that he basically just collapsed. Nods. Mute again. This won't do.

"I'm not saying I'm ready to marry you or anything like that. But I want to do this. Exactly this. Stop by your loft on my way to work and kiss you good morning."

He's torn between two possible answers. He could tell her he wants her to do more than just stop by his loft, wants her here all the time, with him. But that's too much too fast so he goes with the second option.

His voice is low and quiet and strung with need and anxiety. "You haven't kissed me yet."

She stands up, pulling him to his feet. Her lips dance across his and he allows her to be in control because anything,_ anything_ is more than he could have hoped for. She breaks it off after a while, sensing his need to talk it out. She uses actions and he uses words and he has some more but he doesn't know how to string them together properly.

"Kate. I'm going out of town. To the UK on a publicity tour for the Heat Wave movie. I'll be gone four weeks. Starting January 7th."

She nods. A little hurt. There's dread in her eyes too. Her gift is on the counter. Just an envelope. He passes it to her, watches as she opens it. Pulls out a plane ticket.

She reads it. Once. Twice. Drops it from numb fingertips onto the counter. She takes a step back, the edge of the counter hitting her tailbone.

"Kate." His voice is soft and tentative and too loud. "Kate please. Hear me out?"

She nods, silently acquiescing to his request. She doesn't even know how to begin fighting this.

"You have a lot of leave racked up. I know you won't take a month off but maybe some of that time."

She shrugs.

"Kate, I spent three months without you this summer. And it almost killed me. And now that we're" he pauses, licks his lips and she can't tear her gaze away from them "together. I can't go a month without you." He grins mischievously. "And I'll be staying in London so we can go and see the House of Lords which satisfies today's requirement quite perfectly I thought."

She picks the ticket up again. "First class?"

"Of course."

"Castle, I'm sorry about the summer. I just...I had to prove to myself that I could be strong and whole and well without having to lean on anyone. It wasn't just you. I cut out everyone except Dad."

He takes the ticket from her grasp, drops it on the counter and fills the empty spaces between her fingertips with his own fingers.

"Don't. Don't apologize, okay? I understand. You came back. That's what matters. You're here now. Where you belong."

He could kick himself. What happened to not overwhelming her? But she doesn't seem to mind, lets him wrap his arms around her.

Lets him ghost his lips across hers.

He lets out a peal of laughter. "God, everything feels so huge. Every word, every gesture feels like it carries so much meaning. Is it just me?"

She reaches up, extends her hand to his ear and he flinches, 'apples' already on his tongue, but she just runs her fingertip over the curve of it. "It's not just you. It feels big. But it also sort of doesn't. It just feels...right."

He smiles softly. "Kate? We're going to be late for work."

"Right. Yeah." She takes his hand, begins to lead him across the room.

"Kate? Shoes?"

She drops his hand like he's burned her and he struggles not to laugh at his jittery, beautiful-

Girlfriend?

_Please_.

He pulls his shoes on, takes her hand again and uses his momentum to press a kiss to her cheekbone. She shudders a little and he smirks.

...

He goes to make coffee and comes back to find her researching accommodation in London.

"Kate? I'm going to be visiting more cities than just London. Let Paula know what dates you'll be there and I'll have her book you a room in the same hotels as me."

She shoots him a look that says _shut up_. Right. She doesn't want the boys to hear. Damn. Okay.

Later, then?

He asks with his eyes and she nods slightly. Right. He can use that thought to keep quiet and be the perfect partner today.

He'll even help with the paperwork.


	11. Eleven Pipers Piping

**So, due to popular demand, there will be a follow up fic detailing their time in the UK. I don't know when. Probably not soon. But it will happen. Thank you all so much for your support. You've really made this Christmas something special and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.**

* * *

><p><em>For Jess, Emily and Eve. Beautiful, amazing, incredible friends. I love you more than life itself.<em>

**xxxxx**

He's sitting with his head in his hands at his desk. In his office. In his loft.

He hasn't seen her since yesterday evening when they confirmed the ten days she'd be spending with him in the UK. She went home pretty soon after he'd spoken to Paula, looking overwhelmed.

They exchanged texts this morning, a quick _hello, how are you?_ He told her he's taking her out again for day eleven. Told her to dress nice and be ready at six.

It's 5:30pm and he hasn't even showered yet. He's screwed. But he doesn't know how she's going to react to this one. Doesn't know how he's going to react.

This one is not the most expensive. But it's the one that has caused the most inconvenience. A fact that doesn't bother him but surely will bother her.

He has eleven men lined up in Central Park waiting for them to arrive. Well, not just men. Bagpipers.

He'd tried to be original. Funny. Creative. But day eleven had had him stumped since the beginning. So he'd given in and actually gotten her eleven pipers piping.

It was ridiculous. He hopes she'll see the funny side because otherwise it isn't going to end well.

He's never showered and dressed so fast in his life. The push for time is welcome, means he doesn't dither over what to wear.

She turns him into a teenage girl.

She opens the door to him and he steps back, trying to take all of her in. Her legs are wrapped in dark jeans, that are tucked into brown boots. She's wearing one of her many leather jackets, a scarf and a hat.

His step back gives him enough momentum to propel himself forwards and into her arms. He finds her ear, presses his cold nose against it first, then the moisture of his lips. "I missed you today."

She chuckles. "I missed you too Castle." The revelation shocks him so that he forgets they're going slow and bites down on her earlobe. Hard.

She shivers and it sends tingles down his spine and he can't explain it but he's never wanted a woman so badly in his life. He doesn't just want to sleep with her though, although that's certainly appealing. No, he wants to marry this woman. Have her come home to his loft after a hard case and massage her neck. Watch their children run at her to show Mommy what they did today.

He never wanted kids. Alexis is perfect of course. But she wasn't planned. But with Kate? He wants it all.

He takes her hand, gloves. Damn. He wants skin on skin contact. But this is more than he ever thought he'd get when he started this whole thing. It's perfect.

He takes her to the park. To the bandstand. Her eyes are wide. He hands her a note card. She thinks he doesn't know, but he can tell by the reverence with which she studies the cards that his words are a part of the gift to her.

He's writing her a letter. He just doesn't know yet what it will say.

_Darling Kate. I'm sorry this is so pathetically cliché and true to the song. I just got stuck. Merry Christmas, love._

Love is a risk he is now more than willing to take.

Right on cue, right as she finishes reading, lowers the card and opens her mouth to speak, the pipers begin.

He didn't give them any song requirements, doesn't care about that. Just wants to wrap his arm around Kate's shoulders and pin her against him. She gasps and he remembers too late about her scar. He tries to move away but she follows.

"No, Rick. It makes it hurt less. Pressure is good."

He wonders if she realises the double meaning that could hold. Wonders how soon he can take her shopping for a ring. He's not stupid enough to surprise her with one. She will choose for herself.

"Alright, love. Alright." He squeezes her more tightly against him. it seems as if he squeezes the words from her mouth.

"You know when you call me that? It makes me feel safe. And warm."

His jaw drops. Kate Beckett just told him how something makes her feel. Yesterday he kissed her. Wonders will never cease.

"But can you not do it at the precinct?"

He laughs into the crease at her neck. "Of course. It'll be just between us."

They quiet to listen to the music. He loves bagpipes. When played well. Of course it's a little strange in the middle of New York, but then most things around him are strange. He's used to it now.

The set finishes and rapturous applause holds the talented musicians on the stage awhile. Then they leave and so does he, taking Kate by the hand.

She sighs and he turns to her questioningly. "Castle. There's only one day left. I need you to promise me something."

"Anything."

"When the gifts end, don't let me fall back. Keep calling me love. Keep kissing me. Keep internally referring to me as your girlfriend. Yes I can see you doing it. Maybe call me that externally too. I'm happier now than I think I've ever been and I don't want an excuse for my cowardice to return. I'm trusting you not to let me go."

Her little speech has him stunned. "No. Never. Not ever letting you go Kate."

She nods, satisfied, and he meets her lips with his. The kiss is remarkably soft and sweet considering the fire racing in his veins.

When they break apart, she's smiling. "God, I love you Kate Beckett."

She chews on her lip for a second. Looks away. Looks back at him.

"I love you too."


	12. Twelve Drummers Drumming

_For every single one of you who has read, reviewed and enjoyed this story._

The flickering candlelight is lighting her face from underneath, casting enormous shadows under her cheekbones. She seems entranced by the flame, watching it dance, held at the mercy of the air currents.

Some people are shielding their candles with cupped hands, but Kate leaves hers open to the elements. The tiny church is lit by fairy lights strung across the ceiling and they lend the whole place an air of festive magic.

He's heard her sing before. Right before the first time they celebrated the close of a case by visiting the Old Haunt. And he loitered outside her door for a while listening to her before he proposed the idea of a scholarship in her mother's name. But never like this.

Never so light and carefree. So happy.

He didn't think carols would suit her voice. From what he's heard it's sexy and throaty like honey and smoke. Not suited to great proclamations sung in the tone of angels. He'd thought. But he was wrong.

Several times, he's forgotten to sing completely because he just wants to listen to her. Her voice wrapping around the words and he finally understands the exultation the angels felt.

He hasn't touched her. They're in church and it feels wrong but God when the service is over he's going to kiss her senseless.

The gift giving is officially over. He took her to watch Alexis, along with hundreds of other people, wind their way through the city in a parade. There were at least twelve drummers. At least.

He knew it wasn't the best he could have come up with. But he'd honestly thought she wouldn't still be talking to him after day ten. The fact that she was even there was astounding.

He'd promised to not let her back out. Like the thought ever would have even crossed his mind.

The song finishes and the minister bids everyone farewell. This is his church and she knows no one, so when people stand and begin to congregate in groups for a chat, she hovers just behind him like a hesitant child.

Her presence at his elbow is good, feels right, gives him balance. He told her once 'get behind me' and he's still sometimes astounded that she did. But having her there, where he can protect her, is healing the wounds this summer ripped open in him.

He finds a good friend of his, an elderly gentleman named Ian. "Ah, Rick! Great to see you. Don't you love the Christingle service?"

Ian smiles, the lines etched around his eyes and mouth telling the stories of past laughter and joy. He's a happy soul, the quality that originally drew Rick to him. He hasn't been coming long. Only since May.

He nods, smiles and beckons Kate forwards with a hand at the small of her back. "Ian, this is my partner Kate." Girlfriend at once is too adolescent and doesn't convey enough emotion.

'Love of my life, my world, my everything' seems a little much to share with relative strangers. He doesn't think that _she_ even understands yet.

Ian shoots her a toothy grin, his eyes sparkling and at once irrational, insane jealousy carves a path down Rick's spine. He moves closer to her, protective. Wraps his hand around her waist to pin her to his front.

Ian's still babbling. "Rick is very private. I've never seen him bring a woman here before, apart from Alexis. You must be very special.

Kate's cheeks are pink. "She is. Very special."

She turns to look at him over her shoulder; he presses a kiss to the end of her nose where it's pink from the cold.

She scowls at him. He knows she doesn't like public displays of affection but he can't help it. He wants the whole world to see how much he loves her.

For the first time, he allows himself to think

_how much she loves me_.

Yesterday, after her earth shattering, spine tingling confession, she'd hurried away. She'd called him later to apologize, saying she'd had no idea that was coming. It was as much a shock to her as to him. He'd talked her down, calmed her. She'd been silent. And then-

"I do, you know. Love you."

He'd been hopelessly speechless. He didn't know what the correct response was. 'I love you too' just doesn't cut it.

She makes him want to write poetry. He can feel the words running through his bloodstream.

But she showed up this morning. And she let him touch her.

_There are hordes of people marching past, he spots a flash of red hair and tries to wave at his daughter but she's lost in the pounding drumbeat and probably doesn't see him. His arms are wrapped around Kate's front, to hold her against him. So he doesn't lose her._

_In the crowds. Right. The crowds. _

_Once the parade is over, she turns to him and smiles. _

"_That was amazing."_

_She's a little breathless. Christmas magic has taken her over._

_Christmas Eve is one of his favourite days. Perhaps better than the day itself. The heady anticipation. The last minute preparations. All of it culminates into a rush of adrenaline that he yearns for through the rest of the year._

_He's an excitable man. This day was made for him._

_He pulls her into him. "So glad you liked it." So glad. "Kate?" Breathe man. Do not panic. "I was wondering if you'd do me the honour of accompanying me to the Christingle service at my church?"_

_His voice has risen about an octave and this is not good. _

"_Since when do you go to church?"_

_He swallows hard. "Since the summer. I lost faith, you know? Needed to find it again."_

Her face had paled and sorry had danced on her lips before she remembered that he'd long ago forgiven her.

And she'd sung and listened with rapt attention to the sermon and uttered the Lord's Prayer in her deliciously sexy voice.

"Okay, Ian. Lovely to see you. I'll see you at the service tomorrow."

He takes Kate's hand. Leads her out of the little church and into the night and tries not to imagine her walking through this door in a wedding gown.

"What are you doing for Christmas, Kate?"

Why does he not know this already?

"Uh. My dad's going to his cabin. He likes to be alone. Can't handle it without Mom."

He smiles reassuringly. "And you?"

I was supposed to be covering the Christmas day shift, but Karpowski wants to hide from her parents-in-law, so she took it. So I don't have any plans.

"Stay with me" he breathes, and God, do not think of the cemetery because this is so different. It flashes in her eyes too and he wonders if he'll ever be able to say that phrase again.

She nods, but he still needs to persuade her. "I've never seen so much of you outside of work than I have these past few days and it's made me realise that I want you here for all of it, Kate. Please."

She nods. And here's the part where he ruins everything.

"Stay tonight. We open presents early and this evening is part of the magic and I don't want you to miss a minute of it." Don't want to miss you for a minute of it.

She smiles gently. "Alright, castle. But no funny business." His tongue is stuck to the roof of his mouth. He grins dumbly and takes her home.

Home.

xxxxx

The next morning, she comes downstairs from the guest bedroom to open presents and she's wearing his ring. His heart soars and he immediately decides that any other gift she gives him cannot compare.

And then she gives him a key to her apartment.

"In case I ever need someone. I want it to be you."

He thinks of the sniper case. Of how he'd longed to go to her. This key says next time, he can.

There's mistletoe in his kitchen and when she follows him through to help with breakfast he leads her under it and then loses himself in her.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He can't remember a better Christmas. But he does know one thing. Next year, this woman will be his wife.

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><p><strong>I'm putting the author's note at the end this time. Thank you all so much. I really hope you've enjoyed this. Please do check out my other stories, and look out for a new story that will be coming quite soon. It has a darker tone but I hope you'll like it regardless. Also check my tumblr, I have tons of standalone scenes on there. Once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for making Christmas magical. I love you.<strong>


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